The Sorrow of Grief

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“The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there.  But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband” (Ruth 1:2-5).

Mourning the loss of his wife, C.S. Lewis notes in A Grief Observed, “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.” Why does Lewis connect these emotions? Grief, along with every other negative emotion, is a supernatural experience for individuals. The grief of losing loved ones is a supernatural experience because people were not created to deal with death. Grief would have been alien in the Garden of Eden—we were created for joy and gladness in God.

If you’ve lost a loved one, you know this feeling rings true. Your mourning goes deeper than anticipated because there is no way to prepare for something you weren’t created to experience. The death of a loved one is an amputation of yourself. Certain parts of you only come to light in the presence of specific individuals in this life. The way they laughed, cried, encouraged, and helped you become lost, and your response to those qualities becomes dormant. It isn’t because others cannot love you; they cannot love you as they did.

For Naomi, verse 5 notes she lost everyone close to her. There are many aspects to Ruth's story, but for today, it is significant to ponder Naomi’s loss. In ten years, she lost her entire family.

Take a moment and remember loved ones you’ve lost. What things did you appreciate about them? How did they minister to you?

As you reflect on your loss, meditate on the words of Psalm 23: 

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

    He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.

    He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.”

Sometimes, the valley of the shadow of death is overcast with the absence of the ones you love.

Notice the hope developed in the psalm. The Lord comforts and provides goodness and mercy to you. As you seek the restoration of your soul for the loved ones you lost, the remedy is not to reflect on their absence but to orient your longings toward the Lord’s continual presence. Though others pass from life to death, the Lord remains near. 

Offer this prayer to the Lord:

Jesus, you know my sorrow—my heart mourns loss. You know my pain, you see my tears, and you hear my cry. Lying down in green pastures, you restore my soul. Even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, you comfort me. Remind me of your goodness and meet me here in my grief. Bring to mind the resurrection of Jesus as my hope in light of death. Bring me into your presence, Lord. For there, my soul renews its joy. Amen.

Seek to remind yourself and others of these words today. If possible, rewrite Psalm 23 into your own words as a prayer. Regardless, know the Lord sees you today. Your sorrow is met with a Savior who cares.

Prayer Points

Consider also praying for Bethel Church using the “Bethel Ministries” and “Bethel Leadership” sections of the prayer points found here.