The Sorrow of Bitter Thinking

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“She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” (Ruth 1:20-21).

“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.” (Westley from The Princess Bride). Dramatic as it may sound, there is truth in that cult classic.

Everyone’s story involves scenes of hardship and pain. If people try to downplay sorrow or convince you life can be free of pain, it typically means they are looking to get something from you. What makes Christianity beautiful is that it offers hope through pain. Christianity is realistic. That said, arriving at hope is a journey. Often, the Christian road to mountain peaks of joy detour through valleys of despair and bitterness. When life is pain, bitter thinking ensues, and if we are honest, we enter into a sorrow of bitter thinking. When life’s woes consume you, you think poorly—you filter life through hardship. Naomi experienced a lot of pain resulting in bitter thinking.

Take a moment and think through hard moments you’ve experienced. Have they resulted in bitter thinking? 

Meditate on Psalm 88:

“O Lord, God of my salvation,
    I cry out day and night before you.

Let my prayer come before you;
    incline your ear to my cry!

For my soul is full of troubles,
    and my life draws near to Sheol.

I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
    I am a man who has no strength,

like one set loose among the dead,
    like the slain that lie in the grave,
like those whom you remember no more,
    for they are cut off from your hand.

You have put me in the depths of the pit,
    in the regions dark and deep.

Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
    and you overwhelm me with all your waves. Selah

You have caused my companions to shun me;
    you have made me a horror to them.
I am shut in so that I cannot escape;

    my eye grows dim through sorrow.
Every day I call upon you, O Lord;
    I spread out my hands to you.

Do you work wonders for the dead?
    Do the departed rise up to praise you? Selah

Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
    or your faithfulness in Abaddon?

Are your wonders known in the darkness,
    or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?

But I, O Lord, cry to you;
    in the morning my prayer comes before you.

O Lord, why do you cast my soul away?
    Why do you hide your face from me?

Afflicted and close to death from my youth up,
    I suffer your terrors; I am helpless.

Your wrath has swept over me;
    your dreadful assaults destroy me.

They surround me like a flood all day long;
    they close in on me together.

You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me;
    my companions have become darkness.”

Psalm 88 starts and ends in darkness. Typically, psalms conclude in a declaration of hope, but not this psalm. Is that wrong? Should we seek to correct the psalmist here? The answer is no. Psalm 88 teaches us that the Christian can experience a painfully bitter season. Not only that, but Christians can be bitter at times. Psalm 88 teaches us that the holistic life of the believer is to feel emotions deeply. These psalms testify to us that God knows how people speak when times are hard and provide mercy for us in dark times. The mercy is, that despite bitter thinking and saying things about God that aren't true, the psalmist goes to God and lays their heart out to him—and God graciously hears him. Though the psalmist says a lot of “wrong” things, they are going to God, believing he is still the source of life—even when all he sees is death. 

Father, there is darkness in the world all around me, and sometimes joy is hard to find. As I face trials and hardship, it can be easy to lose faith. As I see the ungodliness of the world rewarded, there is a temptation to become bitter and envious. Father, I need your presence. I covet your sustaining grace to fight the temptation of discontent. Please - help me have confidence in your unyielding faithfulness. Help me fight the good fight against comparing myself to others. Help me see the abundant blessings that are found in the gospel of Jesus. Remind me of your promises. Uphold me with your words of life. Give me a heart like Jesus – a heart of faith, contentment, and hope. Amen.

Seek to rewrite this prayer in your own words or send it to someone else today.

 Prayer Points

Consider praying for Bethel’s missionaries in the “Ministry Partners” section of the prayer points found here.